slow burn at the core(azon) of the earth

i decided it was time. it was time to cut any and all codependent ties to my past, and the people who, quite frankly, didn't want to be tied codependently to me at this juncture.

i lit the sage. now more than a year old, it lit well, and i let the smoke billow over me, saying:

i am fine on my own. i am fine on my own. i am fine on my own.

an ember fell to the carpet and smoldered.

'i am fine on my own. i am fine on my own. i am fine on my own,' as i stamped it out quickly.

i am fine on my own.

i can put fires out.

i can start them... but who wants to hang out w/ a firestarter? thrilling but exhausting.

i'm here for the slow burn

and i can control it.

at least, that's what i'm starting to tell myself.

if other humans are mirrors to us, if they are all tentacles of the same mama octopus whose heart beats at the core(azon) of our earth, then my mirrors have been saying 'slow down' and my tentacles have been surrounding me with love, at just the right moments, often.

so maybe i can trust this process...of being...human?

painfully

beautifully

sadly

eloquently

brutally

human?

maybe i can trust

myself?

-rachael h.

photo by Natasha Komodo (ps this sounded break-uppy - it's not! more about self-acceptance, an ongoing process as relationships grow and change)